Two Brain Cells

• Drinking coffee before going to bed GOOD PLAN.
  07:28 PM January 26, 2007
• Totally not eating Nutella straight from the jar.
  11:29 AM February 23, 2007
• Mmm, egg chips and beans. More of a second dinner than a midnight snack, really. Wasn’t my idea; I blame the other half.
  11:47 PM March 04, 2007
• My problem is absentminded eating. I’ll open the fridge to get the milk out for a coffee, and seconds later I’m halfway through a yoghurt.
  12:01 PM March 06, 2007
• Hoping to god that we have a potato masher.
  02:43 PM March 07, 2007
• WHAT CAN I EAT THAT WILL CURB THIS HUNGER?!!1
  08:29 AM March 21, 2007
• Eating scrambled eggs.
  10:15 AM March 21, 2007
• Stir-frying stuff. I desperately need a big fresh vegetable injection.
  07:44 PM March 21, 2007
• Regretting the fact that all of the chilli I added seemed to arrange itself into that one final mouthful. Yikes.
  08:46 PM March 21, 2007
• Debating whether to use remaining calories for today on a dessert, or a bottle of beer. Dessert or beer. Dessert or beer.
  05:45 PM March 22, 2007
• Cooking some kind of atrocious breakfast.
  12:01 PM March 24, 2007
• omg hula hoops
  03:29 PM March 31, 2007
• omg i think that’s an ice cream van
  02:43 PM April 01, 2007
• Strange sudden craving for sponge cake.
  09:12 AM April 04, 2007
• In an interesting development, I seem to have eaten a tin of rice pudding for breakfast.
  10:08 AM April 04, 2007
• Not only have I burnt my steak, I’ve also dropped it on the floor.
  06:45 PM May 21, 2007
• Beer keeps making me beer beer.
  06:32 PM May 26, 2007
• Eating rhubarb and custard sweets for lunch.
  12:39 PM June 04, 2007
• My goodness, perry is delicious.
  04:24 PM July 07, 2007
• Whose fool idea was it to put chocolates by the bed? I think I actually ate some in my sleep.
  10:09 AM September 10, 2007
• You’d think a litre of banana-flavoured milk would be enough for one man. But you’d be wrong.
  04:40 PM September 29, 2007
• Also, cheese sandwich for breakfast = win. I AM GROWN UP NOW, I CAN DO WHAT I WANT.
  12:24 PM October 19, 2007
• I have just created something inspiring via the media of bacon, cheese and FIRE.
  01:55 PM October 25, 2007
• Ah, Ritter Sport. Qualität im Quadrat. Where have you been for so long?
  12:35 PM November 13, 2007
• Smiling. Bacony.
  11:03 AM November 18, 2007
• First day of new, sensible eating! Honest.
  06:26 AM December 27, 2007

I’m seeing this kind of thing a lot lately:

I seem to start writing a lot of stuff that I can’t be bothered to finish. Or, equally, I write stuff that I decide is stupid, and so I decide not to post it. The latter, at least, is good, I think — I’m being my own editor. And everyone knows that every good writer needs a good editor.

Therefore, I am a good writer.

…but it is very difficult when the Clinique UK website tells me to use my Scruffing Lotion (3.5, for normal to oily skin) before shaving, while the Clinique USA website tells me to use it after shaving.

What is a boy to do?

Update: I have ‘email[ed] an expert’ at Clinique. I will let you all know what they say.