- The only food I have consumed thus far today is cake. I think this is a good trend.
02:57 PM January 10, 2008 - Ah, caffeine addiction. Why did I leave you for so long?
04:05 PM January 12, 2008 - I pretty much can’t deal with the world sober. And I can’t keep drinking in my sleep. Therefore, I must never sleep. It’s the only solution.
04:52 AM January 28, 2008 - Gross, this vinaigrette tastes wrong. Almost like soap or something. WTF?
05:22 PM February 02, 2008 - Today so far: toasted sandwich, olives, gherkins, porridge, trifle. It’s 6am. Despite this, I’m still within the parameters of my diet. Woo.
06:11 AM February 04, 2008 - Sudden, overhwleming urge for peanut butter.
05:20 AM February 06, 2008 - Smoking would sate the oral fixation I feel now that I’m not eating, and give me the buzz I miss now that I’m not drinking. Good plan, yeah?
11:12 PM February 08, 2008 - Diet is going well, but need to do better at x portions of fruit/veg daily. Hence, big salad.
10:11 PM February 10, 2008 - I’m not sure whether it’s the sleep deprivation, the malnutrition, or some combination of the two, but man I’m bobbing around quite a lot.
07:05 AM February 13, 2008 - Chapped, broken lips + salt and vinegar crisps = ow ow ow.
12:28 PM February 18, 2008 - Friday night with a terminal window and a cheeky Beaujolais. If there’s more to life than this, I don’t know what it is. Oh, wait, yes I do.
10:24 PM February 29, 2008 - Saturday night with a terminal window, a robust Cabernet Sauvignon, chocolate and fags. If there’s more to life than this, I… Oh, sod it.
07:02 PM March 01, 2008 - A little worried that this pastry case is going to be too shallow.
10:18 PM March 01, 2008 - Dammit, these duck breasts have no skin on them.
12:01 AM March 02, 2008 - Oh, the indignity of having to revise my Threshers purchase to get it under fifteen quid because that’s all the money I have.
05:34 PM March 06, 2008 - Over the last 25 days, a full 13% of the calories I have consumed have arrived via alcohol. I don’t know whether this is good or bad.
07:26 PM March 06, 2008 - It’s 8pm. I appear to be roasting a chicken. It feels like 2, maybe 3am. Not really sure what’s going on.
08:18 PM March 06, 2008 - I think I would rather spend the rest of my life pissed. It’s much more fun.
09:43 PM March 06, 2008 - What am I having for lunch? I am having a nap. (Also, chocolate.)
12:34 PM March 09, 2008 - Sudden craving for chutney.
05:09 PM March 09, 2008 - chrismear: Contains twice your RDA of stressstressstress. Also, 60% cholesterol.
09:52 PM March 09, 2008 - I just spent a good half minute trying to unscrew a bottle of wine whose cap had already been removed.
09:58 PM March 09, 2008 - Oh my God, *that’s* the problem: I’ve only had, like, one cup of coffee in the last five days. No wonder I’m all messed up.
05:22 AM March 10, 2008 - The tap water, she tastes different today.
06:11 AM March 10, 2008 - That would be the second time in a week that I’ve fished something out of the bin and put it in my mouth. This ain’t a good trend.
09:28 AM March 11, 2008 - Two pints down on my ‘not drinking’ night. Um.
08:32 PM March 12, 2008 - Big greasy kebab + chips = diet fail = mmm awesome. I didn’t do four years of physics and maths for nothing. Equation win.
12:54 AM March 13, 2008 - This sauce is “suitable for two people looking for a bit more excitement”. Hope it’s also for “one person looking for a bit more dinner.”
05:31 PM March 16, 2008 - After 14 days of severe delays due to the wrong kind of chocolate and fried meats on the line, we are back aboard the diet train.
07:01 AM March 17, 2008 - Drinking to avoid having to take a rush hour tube.
05:29 PM March 17, 2008 - Mm, haven’t had whisky in so long. And if I wake up at 3am unable to sleep, then that’s an appropriate time to start drinking, isn’t it?
04:42 AM March 19, 2008 - Spending today in bed, I think.
07:07 AM March 19, 2008 - Spent several days trying to remember the word ‘darne’ as it relates to fish. It wasn’t worth it.
04:56 PM March 19, 2008 - Propping up the bar.
02:52 PM March 20, 2008 - NOW WASH YOUR HANDS.
04:50 PM March 20, 2008 - Finding those places where it’s okay, nay acceptable, to be a vagrant, and exploiting them.
05:11 PM March 20, 2008 - EXCELLENT.
06:01 PM March 20, 2008 - It’s situations like this that make me realise I shouldn’t hang around in pubs all afternoon. Then again… pubs all afternoon, yes…
06:54 PM March 20, 2008 - Six pints down this afternoon, I infiltrated a London music store and decimated their pianos. A good day.
10:27 PM March 20, 2008 - That pint of ice cream is not going to have helped *anything*.
01:08 AM March 21, 2008 - I think I might get me some of that ‘drunkorexia’ everyone’s so excited about.
07:49 AM March 25, 2008 - Perhaps need to arrange a ‘do-not-serve’ policy with the kebab place, given the amount I’ve forced down my gullet in the last few months.
12:30 AM March 26, 2008 - Sometimes a cup of tea just really hits the spot, like a kind of glorious celestial alignment. That time is now.
09:49 AM March 26, 2008 - I should know better than to wade in on discussions about SCIENCE while I’m drunk.
12:17 PM March 27, 2008 - I should know better than to confess my mid-week, mid-day alcoholism in public and non-anonymously on the internets. But what the hell.
01:24 PM March 27, 2008 - I’d like to think that Science has progressed such that I could take the right mix of vitamin pills and then survive entirely on Guinness.
05:49 PM March 27, 2008 - Falling asleep in a pub does not rank among my strongest moments.
07:04 PM March 27, 2008 - Interface designers talk about making every click a no-brainer. So that ‘Accept cupcake’ button was about as perfect as you could wish for.
03:42 PM March 28, 2008 - Getting a case of wine is ‘A’ for ‘AWESOME’.
05:12 PM March 31, 2008 - Exercise and porridge: the hero’s way to start the day.
08:44 AM April 01, 2008 - I hate arriving early for things. Lots of drinking coffee and wandering the streets. Still, I hate arriving late for things more.
10:42 AM April 02, 2008 - I read ‘Corporate Eucharist’ and taste salmon en croute. Only 20 people will know what I’m talking about, and none of them are on Twitter.
01:32 PM April 05, 2008 - Concerned that, 6 years ago, I was already saying, “if anyone would like to join me, that would make me look less like a lonely alcoholic.”
01:42 PM April 05, 2008 - Virgin Wines is my new and terrible god.
12:33 PM April 06, 2008 - Let’s see, what to do this evening. Mayoral hustings, or chocolate tasting. Hmm.
09:18 AM April 08, 2008 - Chocolate. On my feet. How did that happen?
08:22 AM April 11, 2008 - OH HAI, I’M IN UR HANGOVER, MAKING U LATE FOR CHURCH.
09:39 AM April 13, 2008 - Vegetable crisps! How had I forgotten you? Forgive me for forsaking your love for so very long.
02:36 PM April 16, 2008 - Switching to cherry beer for those last three rounds seemed like such a good idea at the time.
07:44 AM April 18, 2008 - I really am incredibly bad at the supermarket queue game.
12:52 PM April 20, 2008 - On the way to work, I need to pick up coffee (easy), breakfast (easy) and a long hot shower (slightly harder).
09:11 AM April 23, 2008 - Oh almond croissant, for me you are perfect this morning, if I could marry you I would, but then I’d just devour you and that’s not good.
09:34 AM April 25, 2008 - Gloriously slowly getting sozzled on a lovely Saturday. Have, though, now three times in a row tried to take a swig from an unopened bottle.
04:46 PM April 26, 2008 - Realising just how HUGELY CYNICAL I get when I’m drunk. Might want to tone that down a bit.
11:48 AM April 27, 2008 - Something about “Toffee and Clotted Cream Fudge Ice Cream” suggests that it might not be the ‘healthy choice’. Still. I deserve it.
10:22 PM April 28, 2008 - Guiltily wishing that alcohol came in non-recyclable containers so that I didn’t have such a stark weekly tally every Tuesday morning.
07:27 AM April 29, 2008 - Far more slashed on lovely wine and cocktails than a Wednesday would normally allow, but fuck it, it’s glorious.
10:02 PM April 30, 2008 - Had two packets of crisps for breakfast, then voted. Civic duty: success. Nutritional duty: fail.
09:00 AM May 01, 2008 - Looking forward to moving. But mainly because the coffee girl at the new station is cuteandfriendly, while my current one is mostlygrumpy.
09:20 AM May 01, 2008 - I need an ‘OM NOM NOM NOM’ but for booze.
02:16 PM May 02, 2008 - Crawling towards a strange Tube station in yesterday’s clothes looking for something greasy to eat. Glorious.
01:06 PM May 03, 2008 - Seriously, have I started looking substantially younger in the last couple of months? Just got IDed AGAIN.
04:19 PM May 04, 2008 - One beer belly for sale. Lightly used. Reason for sale: unwanted ‘gift’.
04:48 PM May 04, 2008 - Wondering if anyone else fancies a Circle Line cocktail party before 1 June, just as a matter of principle.
08:46 AM May 09, 2008 - I own 8 champagne flutes, 2 kinds of glasses for different wines and 2 sets of beer glasses. I own no crockery or cutlery. How… revealing.
01:34 PM May 11, 2008 - Spent a good minute or two trying to figure out why the thing I’d just put my coffee on was surprisingly warm. It’s a strong brain day.
06:39 AM May 12, 2008 - Just got half of my recommended daily calorific intake from a packet of cashews. Oy.
11:56 PM May 12, 2008 - Noticed a nice pastry aroma, and removed my headphones to get a better smell. Later on I’ll take off my specs to give my taste buds a rest.
02:17 PM May 14, 2008 - I appear to be, like some strange reflection of a child’s Christmas Eve, eating a carrot and drinking a glass of milk.
10:36 PM May 14, 2008 - Forgot to buy carrots this morning. I urge everyone to stock up while you can, before news of the shortage gets out and the real panic hits.
07:51 AM May 15, 2008 - Evidently burned the roof of my mouth last night on those delicious chips. It was worth it. They were delicious. Delicious chips. Delicious.
10:41 AM May 16, 2008 - Feeling crap this morning, which in itself is okay, except that I only had a glass of wine last night, which suggests I must be getting old.
09:06 AM May 19, 2008 - We’re already in the pub. This is going to be a productive day.
11:19 AM May 23, 2008 - Much like how my physics undergraduate work was, coding seems to go much more smoothly and make much more sense after a bottle of so of red.
08:34 PM May 25, 2008 - Scotch: the breakfast of champions.
08:55 AM May 30, 2008 - I have two new Wii games and 12 new bottles of wine. I should be excited. But I also have the sniffles. So I’m fucking off to bed. Night.
08:08 PM May 30, 2008 - I really could look at cutlery sets all day. If this isn’t marriage material, ladies, I don’t know what is.
11:35 AM May 31, 2008 - What was supposed to just be mixing practice has turned into a three martini lunch. What a cliché.
02:14 PM May 31, 2008 - I can’t really remember how last night ended. But I’m home, and not all of my cocktail glasses are missing. That’s success, I guess.
08:13 AM June 01, 2008 - I really need to stop going to church hungover and/or drunk. I don’t think they appreciate me texting during the service either.
11:07 AM June 01, 2008 - Perhaps my favourite thing about drunken evenings is that when memories filter through later I’m not sure whether they’re real or dreamed.
10:06 PM June 01, 2008 - Life lessons: do not try and give intelligent interviews while you’re sitting at a bar, five cocktails into the afternoon.
10:54 AM June 02, 2008 - Oh my God, chocolate HobNobs need to come in a packet with a time-delay staggered release mechanism, because this consumption is ridiculous.
07:32 PM June 03, 2008 - The best/worst bit about this three-figure bar tab is how it says “Guests: 1″ at the top.
05:39 PM June 05, 2008 - It’s a definite sign when you forget the word ‘water’ and can only come up with ‘I need one of those non-beer drinks’.
01:44 PM June 08, 2008 - Work’s so much nicer after a few glasses of wine and with music in my ears. But I worry the suits are getting annoyed by my random dancing.
04:16 PM June 10, 2008 - Quandary: fussy sober mind reckons that there is ‘no real food in the house’. Add: one bottle of pinot grigio. Result: olive curry sandwich.
05:33 PM June 14, 2008 - Lots of coffee, lots of sugar, in an attempt to keep me alive for the next 13 or so hours. Also: CHOCOLATE DIPPED HONEYCOMB OMG.
02:10 PM June 15, 2008 - Midnight cheese and biscuits = best cheese and biscuits. Also, possibly, best midnight.
12:41 AM June 21, 2008 - After about an hour of consideration, the best I’ve come up with for “describe your ideal match” is, “You should like cheese.”
12:11 AM June 23, 2008 - That dinner I cooked and ate last night was supposed to ’serve 6′. It had a pint of wine and a pound of beef in it. This needs to stop, now.
09:46 AM June 28, 2008 - Okay, so. I’m now officially utterly totally stressed out. This will have to be a glass-of-wine-or-two-with-lunch day, or I’m going to flip.
10:40 AM July 08, 2008 - Attempted to add a spoonful of sugar to my morning coffee. Instead, added another spoonful of coffee. This is exactly why I need the coffee.
07:55 AM July 15, 2008 - I seem to have accidentally had lunch twice today. I wonder if this happens often without my noticing. It really would explain an awful lot.
02:36 PM July 16, 2008 - In trying to take one banana from the bunch, I somehow managed to accidentally simultaneously open all four bananas. So now they must eaten.
07:59 AM July 17, 2008 - The main reason I turn tea-making into a ritualistic four-stage process? So that on each return to the kitchen I can snaffle another biccie.
02:40 PM July 20, 2008 - Quite pleased that I’ve avoided the alcohol temptation all afternoon through the crafty application of tea. All bets are off at six, though.
05:24 PM July 20, 2008 - It’s fascinating how just one tiny bowl of muesli can make me feel about twice as heavy as I did before. And about three times more SERIOUS.
09:05 AM July 22, 2008 - At the cafe, began to say ‘double macchiato’. Brain chose to hesitate and say ‘er…’ instead. Result: ‘DUHHHH’ followed by awkward silence.
10:56 AM August 05, 2008 - HALF AN HOUR UNTIL OPENING TIME.
10:34 AM August 06, 2008 - I think this pub is playing James Blunt. Hang on. Wait. Yes, it is. I chose the wrong bloody pub.
12:51 PM August 06, 2008 - I’m pretty certain God started at ‘bacon’, and then just worked backwards to create the necessary ‘pig’ thing.
10:21 AM August 09, 2008 - Everyone else in this queue is buying lunch. I’m buying two bottles of wine. Telling.
01:11 PM August 11, 2008 - Ate lots of celery; now everything is tinged by it. The wet sky, the hopes of passers-by. Her lies, and the distance between. And my breath.
09:37 AM August 12, 2008 - Some observations: mounting a bar stool is never graceful; having many outlets is a plus; yes, I know what you’re thinking and I don’t care.
12:43 AM August 14, 2008 - Yesterday: ‘everything risotto’. Today: ‘everything curry’. I am handling a truly irresponsible quantity of vegetables here. Be very afraid.
10:12 PM August 20, 2008 - Seems that ‘alcohol’ isn’t banned on the Tube, just ‘open containers’. What about those floating spheres of alcohol like they have in space?
08:32 AM August 28, 2008 - Goddamn, it would be lovely if I could have even just one beer without then needing a wee every thirty-four seconds for the rest of the day.
03:30 PM August 28, 2008 - These rice cakes started making a lot more sense once I decided they were, in fact, some kind of giant, disc-shaped popcorn.
06:04 PM August 28, 2008 - Today is a meat-pie-and-ale-for-lunch day if there ever was one.
12:59 PM August 29, 2008 - About to begin the super-productivity I had planned for 32 hours ago. But maybe a tea first. And a few gins. And a smoke. And a nap.
05:06 PM September 07, 2008 - Vermouth: the breakfast of somewhat pansy champions with no decent spirits in the house.
10:15 AM September 11, 2008 - Oh mood-lifting, energy-giving, tummy-filling, lovely-tasting, endorphin-releasing chocolate, come to me.
05:02 PM September 11, 2008 - There is a fair chance of me falling asleep while standing up in the pub this evening.
05:40 PM September 11, 2008 - PUB STANDARDS COST ME MY JOB. (Actually, just one meeting.)
10:44 AM September 12, 2008 - Early to bed, early to rise, something something about pies, I seem to recall.
09:30 PM September 17, 2008 - Good God, I have made myself a packed lunch. I am so grown up right now.
09:04 AM September 18, 2008 - More peanut than man.
01:21 PM September 18, 2008 - Having to step back out of the lift because you set off the ‘overweight’ alarm is not really a *fantastic* start to the day, is it?
12:01 PM September 30, 2008 - I asked for an egg mayonnaise sandwich, not an egg and eggshell mayonnaise sandwich. Blark.
06:48 PM October 01, 2008 - There is every possibility that my greatest success today will be remembering to make a boring cheese sandwich for lunch.
08:45 AM October 02, 2008 - I am drinking tea out of a mug that says ‘coffee’ on it. I AM SO DAMN KOOKY.
12:34 PM October 02, 2008 - Too much chocolate, too quickly. I am stupid.
02:34 PM October 02, 2008 - I am having a toffee apple with lunch.
01:33 PM October 14, 2008 - For some strange reason, simply drinking glasses of cabernet sauvignon is not making this work do itself. Might have to switch to gin.
09:01 PM October 19, 2008 - I now deserve cheese. Cheese deservation has been achieved. Commencing cheese. Cheese begins shortly. Consumption is imminent.
10:15 PM October 19, 2008 - I have discovered the secret solution. The secret solution is: start the day with cake.
09:12 AM October 21, 2008 - Food vendors between Liverpool Street and my office, prepare your eggs and bacon. My journey begins.
09:42 AM October 23, 2008 - And now the froth in this coffee seems to be spelling the word ‘loser’. Not impressed with today.
03:42 PM October 26, 2008 - “Once a week, we’ll be asking about the alcohol you buy, what’s drunk in your home, and what you drink yourself.” This could end in tears.
05:22 PM October 28, 2008 - “When times get tough, the tough get tasting the finest champagnes known to humankind.” I like your style.
11:56 AM October 31, 2008 - In a landslide victory, Sausage Roll wins over No Sausage Roll, bringing hope and true change in this new era of the United States of Me.
10:22 AM November 06, 2008 - Oh, useless. No cash, no cards and no cheque book mean no sausage roll for me. The dream is over. Damn special interests.
11:07 AM November 06, 2008 - Unexpected egg custard tart.
12:42 PM November 11, 2008 - As usual, I made enough rice to kill a small army. Stupid expanding food. See also: prawn crackers, popcorn.
10:08 PM November 11, 2008 - Fifth bottle of wine. Good lunch.
02:47 PM November 13, 2008 - We just spent £500 on lunch. Fun.
04:35 PM November 13, 2008 - DAMN YOU, MUESLI, YOU’VE BEATEN ME AGAIN.
07:35 AM November 18, 2008 - I knew I shouldn’t have hoovered up all the leftover flavour powder from that bag of chilli nuts. Ow my face.
08:14 PM November 18, 2008 - Just threw the stock cube wrapper into the pan, and the stock cube into the bin. Quality.
09:21 PM November 18, 2008 - Camp is something I can see myself easily getting addicted to. The chicory and coffee essence, that is, not the aesthetic.
11:29 PM November 18, 2008 - Not even half eleven and I’m already thinking about lunch. I have £2.65 to spend. I don’t anticipate satisfaction.
11:23 AM November 21, 2008 - Thanks for the lunch suggestions, everyone. I went with: a pack of fags.
01:15 PM November 21, 2008 - Emergency pâté saves the day.
04:59 PM November 21, 2008 - Jumper on. Sausage sandwich.
02:36 PM November 22, 2008 - Rather ashamed that I now have a ‘how to bake a potato’ page in my browser history.
02:39 PM November 23, 2008 - Even more ashamed that I appear to have ballsed up said potatoes.
03:24 PM November 23, 2008 - Postprandial puff.
12:36 PM November 24, 2008 - Note to self: the raw chicken fork does not then go into mouth.
07:59 PM November 24, 2008 - Cookies and milk, yes? Cookies and milk yes.
04:19 PM December 01, 2008 - C2H5OH makes the troubles go.
11:12 PM December 06, 2008 - Oh Lord, the café has started doing a special winter drink made almost entirely out of Nutella. This could be the end of me.
04:30 PM December 10, 2008
Archive for December, 2008
Scribblenauts is a game coming late 2009 for the DS which lets you “Write anything. Solve everything!” In order to help Maxwell collect Starites, you can literally write anything on his notepad, and the object will spawn in game. This is awesome.
Lumberjacks: Awesome
From 5TH Cell, the makers of Lock’s Quest and Drawn to Life, the game is based around a hierarchical description engine called Objectnaut, which lets them describe an object in terms of its properties and relationships with other objects.
If you’re (understandably) sceptical about the game actually delivering on the “Write anything” part, there’s an interview over at IGN where the creative director Jeremiah Slackza explains a lot about how they’re planning to do it.
And it looks like they’re actually going to pull it off. Check out the official trailer to see a few of the things you’ll be able to do.
It’s like having the power from Sphere minus the psychoses and killer squid! Unless of course you glue lasers to a squid.
I can’t wait to hear more about this game, and it’s definitely one I’ll be watching out for next year.