This morning, on the train on the way to work, I was sitting by the door. The train pulled into a station, and an elderly lady got up, with her two or three bags, to disembark.
As she walked past me, she dropped a newspaper on the floor.
Over the next two seconds or so, my mind did this:
‘I should pick up that paper and say, “Did you drop this?”‘
‘Actually, it looks like it was a free newspaper that she dropped on purpose.’
‘Still, I ought to offer it to her, just in case. It’s the right thing to do.’
‘But I’ve left it too long now, and if I stop her she might not get off the train in time.’
During this panicked thinking brought about by a perfectly ordinary situation, I found myself having an actual adrenaline rush; that raw chemical surge of urgency like I’d not felt for a long time.
My point in telling you this story?
It is to forewarn you that, when the time comes, I will not be very useful to you in a combat situation.
Names altered to protect identities.
17:18
[a] ah
[a] do you have a box spring bed?
[b] I’m not sure, what’s one of those?
17:19
[a] basically it doesn’t have a frame
[a] it has a springy thing as the base
[a] basically
[b] Oh, with big springs going across sideways?
17:20
[a] if you fill a sandwich bag with vaseline and stick it between the box spring and matress
[a] it hardcore feels like you’re doggying someone
[a] haven’t done that for a while
[a] but it’s going that way yunno
[a] yunno?
An anecdote. I love a good tale of l’esprit d’escalier actually occurring before one hits the stairs.
A. joined the chat room.
chrismear: hey
A.: hi there
A. left the chat room. (Quit: anti-depression walkies)
chrismear: Well, that’s a ringing endorsement of my conversation skills.
Chris: oh god, i didn’t realise this new beowulf movie was all 3D
David: Holy shit, seriously?
Chris: Yeah.
David: Estimated time frame for naked 3d model of Angelina Jolie to appear on the internet?
I need to buy one of those 25 ml spirit measure things, now that I’m calorie-counting everything that goes into my face.
Last night I found myself calibrating a measuring jug below 100 ml using an adjustable steady stream of water and a clock with a second hand.