Two Brain Cells » Anecdotes

Everyday decisions

Chris — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 10:44:11 +0000

This morning, on the train on the way to work, I was sitting by the door. The train pulled into a station, and an elderly lady got up, with her two or three bags, to disembark.

As she walked past me, she dropped a newspaper on the floor.

Over the next two seconds or so, my mind did this:

‘I should pick up that paper and say, “Did you drop this?”‘

‘Actually, it looks like it was a free newspaper that she dropped on purpose.’

‘Still, I ought to offer it to her, just in case. It’s the right thing to do.’

‘But I’ve left it too long now, and if I stop her she might not get off the train in time.’

During this panicked thinking brought about by a perfectly ordinary situation, I found myself having an actual adrenaline rush; that raw chemical surge of urgency like I’d not felt for a long time.

My point in telling you this story?

It is to forewarn you that, when the time comes, I will not be very useful to you in a combat situation.

Little pearls of wisdom.

David — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 16:33:46 +0000

Names altered to protect identities.

17:18
[a] ah
[a] do you have a box spring bed?

[b] I’m not sure, what’s one of those?

17:19
[a] basically it doesn’t have a frame
[a] it has a springy thing as the base
[a] basically

[b] Oh, with big springs going across sideways?

17:20
[a] if you fill a sandwich bag with vaseline and stick it between the box spring and matress
[a] it hardcore feels like you’re doggying someone
[a] haven’t done that for a while
[a] but it’s going that way yunno
[a] yunno?

An anecdote

Chris — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 20:12:48 +0000

An anecdote. I love a good tale of l’esprit d’escalier actually occurring before one hits the stairs.

Conversation skills

Chris — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 00:18:45 +0000

A. joined the chat room.
chrismear: hey
A.: hi there
A. left the chat room. (Quit: anti-depression walkies)
chrismear: Well, that’s a ringing endorsement of my conversation skills.

Estimated time frame

Chris — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 12:29:37 +0000

Chris: oh god, i didn’t realise this new beowulf movie was all 3D
David: Holy shit, seriously?
Chris: Yeah.
David: Estimated time frame for naked 3d model of Angelina Jolie to appear on the internet?

Ways I have failed at tea today

Chris — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 17:00:08 +0000

Didn’t notice existence of teapot, so didn’t boil enough water to fill teapot.
Poured water into teapot, forgot about it for an hour, brewed very strong tea.
Poured very strong tea into cup, forgot about it for half an hour, tea got cold.
Impressed by insulating qualities of teapot, poured second cup of still-just-about-warm tea into cup, forgot teapot has no built-in strainer, poured too violently, got half a mug of tea leaves.
Emptying cup into sink, forgot that the very purpose of this emptying was to remove tea leaves from cup, covered sink with tea leaves.
First successful cup of tea, missed mouth, poured on self.

Calibration

Chris — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:06:17 +0000

I need to buy one of those 25 ml spirit measure things, now that I’m calorie-counting everything that goes into my face.

Last night I found myself calibrating a measuring jug below 100 ml using an adjustable steady stream of water and a clock with a second hand.

How not to ask tech questions

Chris — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 03:07:55 +0000

How not to ask tech questions, or How to ask tech questions like a dick with a ridiculous sense of entitlement.

Forty-eight

Chris — Sat, 31 Mar 2007 23:33:20 +0000

The following two posts just popped up in my newsreader at about the same time:

Slashdot: 48% of Americans Reject Evolution
Becks & Posh: 48 out of 100

Boring coincidence? Probably.

A Select Subset Consuming

Chris — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 18:00:50 +0000

Seen on the All Consuming homepage:

Certainly makes a change from the “I like any sci-fi” requests.

SPARTAAA

David — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 18:57:55 +0000

Careful, 300 “contains strong bloody violence”. Too bloody right.

You know you’re using the computer too much when…

Chris — Thu, 23 Nov 2006 12:53:09 +0000

…you come across a real physical button on a device in the real world, you can’t figure out what it’s supposed to do, and you find yourself hovering your finger over it waiting for a tooltip to appear.

Ruler Haiku

Chris — Sun, 05 Nov 2006 17:05:13 +0000

Aurgh! The ruler I
Use to scratch myself, I just
Put it in my mouth.

IM Poems

David — Tue, 26 Sep 2006 10:35:17 +0000

And I suppose if I don’t use this stuff, it’ll just go to waste.
Eh, what could you do.
You had a lot of stuff,
I didn’t realise.
Chopsticks and all.

Into the distance

David — Fri, 05 May 2006 14:52:40 +0000

Wow. Just got back from my trial flight lesson. I’ve been lucky enough to go on a lot of commercial flights, but it doesn’t even compare to actually being at the controls of a tiny two-seater plane. Sitting in one of those giant jet liners, you can pretty much forget that you’re flying.

I was surprised by how much you’re allowed to do even if you’ve never flown before. Obviously, in a thirty minute lesson, we could only cover the very basics. But I got to bank and turn a bit, and practice changing the plane’s level. Even having that small amount of control made me feel like the goddamn Batman.

It was an amazing experience, and I’d recommend it to anyone.

Learning to fly

David — Thu, 04 May 2006 22:20:13 +0000

I’ll be taking to the skies tomorrow for a 30 minute trial lesson, in a Cessna 152. Apparently a redesign of the 150, which suffered from occasional ingestion by Frenchmen. Maybe they figured out that roast beef isn’t such a great construction material.

I’ll report back tomorrow, weather permitting.