Two Brain Cells » Humour

Floe Chart

Chris — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 12:21:19 +0000

In which I demonstrate my lack of history education

Chris — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 23:14:59 +0000

chrismear: i really feel like i ought to have a better grounding or sense of human history chrismear: timescales, at least davidmear: Yeah chrismear: 'cause, like chrismear: here's what i've got at the moment chrismear: Dinosaurs chrismear: Cavemen chrismear: Egyptians chrismear: Greeks chrismear: Romans chrismear: Jesus chrismear: nobody expects the spanish inquisition? chrismear: that's, like leapfrogging 1600 years or something chrismear: no, wait chrismear: then chrismear: Blackadder chrismear: Blackadder II chrismear: Blackadder III chrismear: Victorians chrismear: Blackadder IV chrismear: NASA

PIRATE

David — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 10:09:01 +0000

PIRATE.
PI.
RATE.

SameURL

Chris — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 16:26:00 +0000

There’s been some discussion recently about how URL shortening services like TinyURL help to break the web and decrease security by introducing an additional, potentially unreliable step in the hyperlink.

To counter this, I proudly present a new URL munging service, SameURL.

Domocracy

David — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 15:10:28 +0000

Little pearls of wisdom.

David — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 16:33:46 +0000

Names altered to protect identities.

17:18
[a] ah
[a] do you have a box spring bed?

[b] I’m not sure, what’s one of those?

17:19
[a] basically it doesn’t have a frame
[a] it has a springy thing as the base
[a] basically

[b] Oh, with big springs going across sideways?

17:20
[a] if you fill a sandwich bag with vaseline and stick it between the box spring and matress
[a] it hardcore feels like you’re doggying someone
[a] haven’t done that for a while
[a] but it’s going that way yunno
[a] yunno?

An anecdote

Chris — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 20:12:48 +0000

An anecdote. I love a good tale of l’esprit d’escalier actually occurring before one hits the stairs.

More truth from Wikipedia

Chris — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 01:04:37 +0000

From the article about MFI:

For many years, MFI allowed customers to buy their items in the store and leave the store with their furniture . This was stopped in the mid-1990s due to cost and from then on all furniture was delivered from large warehouses. This has resulted in MFI having the largest two-man delivery service in Europe.

It’s true.

More well-placed advertising

Chris — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 20:53:18 +0000

Conversation skills

Chris — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 00:18:45 +0000

A. joined the chat room.
chrismear: hey
A.: hi there
A. left the chat room. (Quit: anti-depression walkies)
chrismear: Well, that’s a ringing endorsement of my conversation skills.

Best obviously-wrong multiple-choice answer ever

Chris — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 15:35:25 +0000

Sport

Chris — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 12:40:51 +0000

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ritter_sport

David: God, whoever wrote this is way too into Ritter Sport.
David: Also, “sport”?
David: It’s a fucking chocolate bar.

Update: Something tells me that variety number 24, “Nutella with horse power”, may not be an accurate reporting of the facts.

Estimated time frame

Chris — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 12:29:37 +0000

Chris: oh god, i didn’t realise this new beowulf movie was all 3D
David: Holy shit, seriously?
Chris: Yeah.
David: Estimated time frame for naked 3d model of Angelina Jolie to appear on the internet?

Animal Crossing tribulations

Chris — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 12:50:19 +0000

“God, when I bought these turnips,

I was throwing them on the floor in my house, and I accidentally dragged a group onto me.

And I fucking ate them. Ten grand worth of turnips.

Fat cunt.”

The Inbox Of Nardo Pace, The Empire’s Worst Engineer

Chris — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 08:52:09 +0000

The Inbox Of Nardo Pace, The Empire’s Worst Engineer

Indestructible dance music

Chris — Sat, 31 Mar 2007 21:50:43 +0000

A nugget of wisdom from the iTunes Store editors:

Like a shape-shifting, giant amoeba (should such a creature exist, outside of movies like The Blob) dance music finds endless ways to adapt itself and is, consequently, indestructible.

Yes yes.